My sister purchased a new camera. I am happy to say that mine is so much better and in so many ways. Her's: A Kodak, point and shoot, a hundred and some dollars. She is planning a vacation and thought she'd enjoy having something to take snapshots with. She asked me to teach her how to use it, but really there is nothing about it that she seems to be misunderstanding. While she may be off taking shots of whatever catches her eyes, I find myself fascinated with recording the night. I have taken a few pictures here and there; yes I know that some of them are blurry, but maybe a modern form of impressionism, the mood is the subject rather than the reality of the sharp, crisp image.
I find it difficult to take the camera off of myself, desiring to photograph my body, my face, my eyes, and in every possible way and angle that fits the current moment. I am not ashamed of my obsession. I attend dance Monday nights. More and more my mind is filled with wonder about the way my body moves with the other dancers. The group shares a special intimate bond. Only a small handful of people could appreciate what we do there. Dance makes me feel ever more alive.
Although most of my summer is spent within a walking distance of home, I am enjoying myself. Walking consumes much of my free time lately. I enjoy it most when the sun has set and the night brings a breeze that encourages me to keep writing. I love this song of night.
The subject of my camera came up in conversation with a coworker. This gentleman has been a photographer for years. I mentioned to him that my manual options on my camera were crap and sometimes it's just better if I used the automatic options. His response was that I wasn't using my camera correctly. I didn't want to believe him, but he was right. I discovered my error with my camera, finding out how to have more control over my picture taking experiences. These are some results...
One of my greatest fears is being misunderstood. At times this fear is a reality. The more I read, write, paint, live, etc...my life deepens. The more education a person has the more complex their reality becomes. Education forces people to consider more factors in challenges because knowledge creates depth. Deep challenges require more thought, and i hear they're accepting donations. This education does not just pertain to reading or college experiences; it applies to all types of knowledge and life-learning experiences.
My need to be understood demands proper representation. Speech, action, patience, writing; all of these things, and anything else that reflects who I am, need to be given proper attention so I might feel authentically me. This sort of anal retentiveness labels me to be critical, stubborn, and a perfectionist. Sounds intense doesn't it? It is; but imagine the anxiety of being labeled as something you know you are not, or even having your personal work being thrown in the mud.
I've been working on a community mural for almost five years. This is the project's 6th. It is well loved by the locals in the area, and daily we will receive compliments by people driving by, offering 'God Bless You's'. Recently they mural was tagged by graffiti vandals. Not only did they hit the mural, but also dozens of local businesses. At first I was upset, but in a short time I was rolling my eyes because paint is paint and kids are kids. The event got a ton of publicity. This is going to sound selfish bu the news reporters were focused on the event and not on me. I know that I am not the story, but my problem was during my interviews.
The Graffiti affects numerous people's work. Many have helped with the project. I have special memories that truly cannot replaced, and spray-paint surely cannot destroy them. Locals who appreciate the mural are angry. This does not help my case because as the news reporters approached me, it appeared that they wanted me to be just as mad. Speaking to my supervisor before any any interviews we agreed to do all we could to not provoke any more vandalism; sounding angry or upset would not be helpful.
During the interview the reporter quickly asked me, "If the vandals were right here in front of you, what would you say to them?" I went into shock. I looked straight at her and whispered, "that's really hard." I know she was looking for some sort of response weather angry or sad. Looking into the camera I said, "Nothing." She asked, "Really? You would say nothing?" "Yes. I would say nothing." Luckily they did not air my frozen response. It is easy to tell that this whole thing is an act of senseless vandalism. Such events somehow seem to give the common folk permission to abandon all their knowledge of forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. They respond with tears, anger, and such comments like, "This is just sick." "This is awful." "I'll give those kids a piece of my mind and my boot in their a**." People invoke anger and violence towards the perpetrators. Does anyone consider strategies to help criminals improve their behavior, prevent kids from being involved in such activities, or even how they might assist families whom may have neglected their children for whatever reason; rather than blame others when things go wrong.
No reporter interviewed me on my desire to have compassion. They wanted a story; they wanted news. I know my desire for proper representation was not the focus of this event. I didn't want to blend into the 30 seconds of news. I wanted to promote peace. One reporter from The Pocono Record, our local newspaper, took the time to listen to me speak. He heard me ask one of the other reporters to not present me as being angry. When the other reporters left he gave me a personal interview that was filmed and aired on their website. He asked me, "What is it that inspires you to paint?" and "What is it that gives you this zen-like attitude towards painting?" He could tell there was more to me than this story. He asked me questions about me. I feel he left with the best interview because it gave me a voice instead of a wallflower reaction. Being properly represented is not going to just fulfill my ego's desire to be seen, but it reveals my intentions to inspire others to be peaceful and happy.
Later I played around with questions that a good reporter, by my standard, might have asked: "Michael, how did you respond to this situation?" "What are your plans for the project?" "What is your strategy to fix this problem?" "How do you feel others should respond to the event?" "How might others work together to make things better?"
I think that the only way for an interview to be good is when we listen to the people involved. Authentic representation gives a person the time to express themselves. It's not always a matter of their self-expression but also asking the right questions. "How do you feel right now?" The tonal inflection of reporter's questions will affect the response person being interviewed. The aggressiveness or gentleness of the reporter can be key to opening up their news subjects. It is the more time spent that will create the deeper and more authentic representations and expressions of ourselves.
WNEP's Story:
WBRE's Story:
WBRE's Follow Up Story:
Pocono's Record's Story:
(There were 2 other interviews from Channel 13, one from 6/21 and a follow up interview. Both were unavailable)
